Bring on the Banter

TOW Joey dates Rachel
The West Wing

TOW Joey dates Rachel and Fandoms Collide

Author: Missjasadin

Fandom: West Wing/Friends xover

Summary: In an episode of Friends, when Rachel is pregnant, she's complaining that she hasn't been on a date in a long time and won't go on one for a long time either. So Joey decides to take her on a real date, and they
share what they each do on dates to get the other person to fall for
them, or actually sleep with them in Joey's case. In come Josh and Donna.

Disclaimer: Neither of these shows belong to me. The West Wing is the brilliant creation of Aaron Sorkin ad Friends the collaborative efforts of David Crane and Marta Kaufman.

Authors Note: The beginning of this fic is adopted from Friends Season 8 episode: TOW Joey dates Rachel. The West Wing comes in later. This is set at about season 3 of the West Wing – during the campaign trail.

Central Perk

Joey and Rachel were sitting in Central Perk, sipping their coffee, and enjoying the quiet silence, and Ross entered in a rush.

“Hey!” He exclaimed “Oh, I’m so glad you that you guys are here. I’ve been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.”

“Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?” Joey lowered his voice and muttered to Rachel under his breath.

Ross continued as if Joey hadn’t spoken: “The head of the department, Professor Neuman has….”

“They made you head of the department!” Rachel exclaimed, excited for her friend and the father of her unborn child.

“No. But I get to teach one of his advanced classes!” He interjected excitedly, then paused. “Why didn’t I get head of the department?”

Frowning, he walked to the counter to get some coffee, still pondering the question Rachel had proposed to him.

Joey turned to Rachel. “Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm…”


“I Have a big date coming up in a few days. Do you know any good restaurants?”

Pausing for a second to think, she replied “Yeah, um, there’s this great one downtown. Paul’s Café I think it’s called. They’ve got great food and it’s really romantic.”

“Ooh, great! Thanks!” He grinned at her excited at the prospect of where his date would lead, after taking the woman to a romantic restaurant.

“Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks.” Almost forgetting Joey was even there, she continued her fantasy. “Or you could go downtown and listen to some jazz music... Or dancing—Oh! Take her dancing!”

Eyebrows raised, he commented “You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, I’ll tell ya…”

Rachel sighed.

“I miss dating. Getting all dressed up and then going to a fancy restaurant with a cute guy – it’s so much fun! I’m not going to be able to do that for ages now that I’m pregnant. I mean not that I won’t have fun sitting at home, worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby…”

Joey looked at Rachel’s downcast eyes, and sighed before asking: “Hey, y’know what?”


“Why don’t I take you out?”

“What!” Rachel exclaimed “Joey, you don’t want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.”

“Yes I do!” He argued “So you’re gonna go get dressed up, we’re gonna go out and we’re going to have a good time!. Anyway it will help to take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out…”

Shaking her head quickly trying to erase images of baby’s heads popping out of her, Rachel interrupted him.

“Okay! I’ll go with you! I’ll go! I’ll go with you.”

“I’ll be fun.”

“All right?”

Although he had been sweet to offer, Rachel was unsure as of what to expect. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed a bad idea.

Joey and Rachel’s Apartment

Rachel was in her bedroom preparing for her date with Joey when she heard a k knock on the door.

“Joey?” She called to her roommate “Could you get that?”

Not getting a reply she walked to the door opening it herself. There stood Joey dressed up in his “date” clothes holding flowers and a small brown bag in his hand.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room” Rachel asked him.

“No, I’m picking you up for our date. These are for you.” He handed her the purple flowers, smiling.

“Ohh, Lilies. Joey, they’re my favorite. Thank you.” She beamed at him, and walked further into the kitchen, opening a cupboard to retrieve a vase.

“And, a brownie!”

Turning to face Joey, Rachel realized that he was holding out the small brown bag to her.

“Well, half a brownie. Actually, it’s just bag. It’s been a long walk from the flower shop and I was starting to feel faint so…”

“Thankyou. This is so great! I actually feel like I’m going on a real date! Although, I do have a hint of morning sickness, and I’m wearing underwear that goes up to about…” Rachel snapped the waistband on her underwear that went just slightly below her breasts. “there.”

“Hey come on now, this is a real date.” Joey protested. Adopting a ‘manly’ voice he continued. “Uh, so…nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy. You’re my kind of woman.”

“Yeah, well actually, that’s my roommate’s.”

“I would like to meet him. He sounds like a terrific guy.” Joey smirked at her.

“Ah yes,” Rachel warned mockingly “but he’s very protective of me so you’d better watch yourself.”

“Ah… Hey, so this roommate of yours…is he good looking?”

“Hm-mmm.” She agreed nodding.

“Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?”

Rachel laughed “Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”

Joey’s eyes widened in surprise, and he tripped over his words in protest. “No-no-no-no, he’s not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!”

In a restaurant

“Wow, isn’t it beautiful” Donna commented, admiring the gorgeous view before them. “Aren’t you glad I chose this restaurant?”

Josh barely glanced up from his menu, which he was studying intently, trying to work out the cheapest meal he could possibly buy from the range of overpriced choices.

“Yes, I’m ecstatic. If I were given the choice on how to spend all my hard earned money in one go, this is definitely the way I would have chosen. So thank you for making the decision for me.” He replied.

Feeling Donna’s glare, he looked up at her sheepishly.

“I’m delighted to be here with you Donnatella.”

Noticing her glare hadn’t lessoned he continued hastily. “This is YOUR night- to eat wherever you want. You deserve it after all the extra hours you’ve been putting in…?” He made it a question, hoping she would accept his response and forgive him.

Donna nodded and returned to her conversation about the restaurant’s view, as Josh groaned, letting his head fall forward against the table.

In the same restaurant

“Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?” Rachel asked.

The waitress serving them sighed, as Rachel had been questioning the menu for the past five minutes. “There’s a side of steamed vegetables.”

“Emmm.” Pausing for a second to think, Rachel spoke again. “Now, is there any way I can substitute the vegetables for a three-pound lobster?”

“Y’know what?” Joey interjected before the waitress could wrap her hands around Rachel’s neck, which I looked like she planning on. “Bring her both, and I’ll have the same.”

With a glare, the waitress, turned sharply, leaving their table.

“Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good date…” Rachel exclaimed excitedly “Oh and I almost forgot. I haven’t paid you for rent yet”

“Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? We’re on a date.”

“Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?” She grinned at him.

Trying to maintain a straight face Joey spoke again “No! No. Umm, just myself and if they don’t like me for…” Before bursting into laughter. “I’m sorry I couldn’t even get through that.”

“I knew it! I knew it. Come on tell me your moves.” She begged, a pout forming on her lips.

Sighing, Joey leaned closer to her before responding. “Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from one of my fans.”

“Oh my God. And that works!”

He shrugged “Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"”

“Oh, you poor little famous man.” She sympathized with him mockingly.

“Oh okay, how about this one. I was going to wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but you’re so beautiful…I don’t think I can.”

Eyes widening expressing her interest, Rachel gasped. “Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did!”

He smirked at her. “Alright, so…so tell me one of your moves.”

“Alright. So where’d you grow up?”

Joey frowned at her. “That’s your move? Boy Rach, you’re lucky you’re hot.”

“Come on, just answer the question!”

Exasperated he replied. “Queens.”

“And so were-were you close to your parents?” She asked persistently.

“Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.”

“Why not?”

Joey shrugged before answering her question. “I don’t know. I guess there’s just always been this distance y’know—I mean we both try to pretend it’s not there, but it is.”

“Oh.” Rachel replied sympathetically, rubbing his wrist with her fingers in support. “It’s gotta be rough.”

“Yeah, it is. It’s really tough. Y’know sometimes I think…” Joey paused in the middle of his soliloquy suddenly. “Wow! Nice move!”


“"Where’d you grow up," it’s so simple!” Joey exclaimed.

Rachel grinned. “Thank you! And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.”


Rachel stood and began to walk away from the table, heading in the direction of the restrooms.

Still in hearing distance she called out to him. “And now you’re watching me walk away.”

“Yes I am!” Joey exclaimed “Again so simple!”

Nodding at Joey’s words but not really listening, Rachel’s green eyes widened suddenly in surprise and an excited grin spread across her face.


Donna looked up from her meal, hearing her name being called. She furrowed her brow and looked at Josh questioning, as if to ask if he too had heard her name being called.

“Did you..?”

He shrugged and glanced around the room, hoping to spy someone approaching. Donna too, began to look her eyes locking onto each table, inspecting its occupants, when she felt Josh’s tap on her shoulder.

Following the direction his hand pointed, she suddenly noticed the source of the voice just two tables away. Scrambling from her seat, she approached Rachel and Joey’s table at a swift pace, before coming to a halt just in front of them.

“Rachel!” Donna threw her arms around the shorter woman and the two hugged each other tightly.

“What are you doing here! Why didn’t you tell me that you were coming to New York?”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t even thinking. We’ve been so busy with the campaign and this is the first break I’ve had in weeks. It didn’t even occur to me, and Josh… oh – Josh!”

Donna turned and almost walked into her companion who had left their table to join her reunion. Joey grinned at her, letting her know that he would be commenting on her girlish reunion with Rachel at a later date, then motioned for her to introduce him.

“Oh, sorry. This is my boss, Joshua Lyman. Josh, meet my cousin Rachel and…I’m sorry…” Donna trailed off, not knowing the name of the handsome man standing alongside her cousin.

“Oh, this is one of my best friends, Joey Tribianni. You’ve heard me talk about him before.” Donna nodded smiling at him in greeting while the men shook hands.

“I can’t believe that you’re actually here! I haven’t seen you in such a long time; we have so much catching up to do! How long are you in town? I guess that you’ll be busy with the campaign, but you must try to get a day off so that we can go shopping!”

Josh looked on in amusement, deducting that babbling was obviously a genetic trait in Donna’s family. Tuning back into the conversation, he realized that Rachel was still talking.

“Why don’t you join us…? Or are you…?”

“No, no, it’s fine, we just started our main meals” Donna immediately responded, “we’ve love to join you” She looked at Josh for his approval, and at his nod, signaled for the waiter. After explaining their new situation, it only took a few minutes for the group of four to be seated at a new table with their meals before them.

“So this is a lovely place for your BOSS to take you out to dinner, Donna.” Rachel commented, looking pointedly at her cousin and emphasising the word “boss”. Neither male noticed Rachel’s implied question although Donna did, carefully ignoring it.

“Trust me, it won’t be happening again” Josh stated scowling at his blonde assistant.

Donna’s eyes widened slightly and an angelic expression made its way across her face. “You said that I could choose where we ate!”

“Yes, and you knew that by ‘choose’, I meant choose between pizza and Chinese takeaway! Not choose the most expensive restaurant in New York!”

“I thought that you were being overly generous when you said you’d pay for the meal” Donna grinned at him, letting him know that she had realized what he had meant, but had deliberately turned his own words against him.

Meanwhile, the other couple was looking on in amusement, as the two argued.

“Just look at these prices! I mean, how can anybody justify $15 for a stick of garlic bread! I would watch your step for the next few days, Donnatella.” Josh warned her.

Joey’s ears perked up. “Donnatella? That’s Italian.”

“Yep,” Josh nodded at his assistant “Donna’s half Italian.”

“So am I!” came Joeys’ excited reply. “Do you speak Italian?”

“Appena un po’” A little bit

The ice now having been broken, the four continued their meal, conversation flowing easily between them, talking about what had been going on in their lives, and Donna and Rachel sharing amusing stories from their childhood.

The hours went by much to fast for the group and soon they were the only ones left in the restaurant. Standing outside the building they said their goodbyes, Donna and Josh promising to meet up with them again before they left New York.

The End.

TOW Ms Pacman

All stories by 
Unless otherwise stated none of these characters belong to me. All creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).