Bring on the Banter

Day One
The West Wing

“Soooo…” Josh drawled “the spa and sauna?” He and Donna were touring the house at a leisurely pace, their eyes taking in all the details they could about their new home. “The truth finally comes out about why you accepted my invitation into the house.”

Donna gawked at him “Invitation?” She smacked his arm, smirking as he winced when her hand came into contact with his shoulder “You didn’t give me a choice!”

Shrugging at her, Josh collapsed onto the large lounge which was positioned in the middle of the house. Donna however continued walking around the room, stopping every so often to point; it seemed to Josh somewhat randomly.

“Donna?” He asked her slowly “What are you doing?”

She turned to stare at him. “What do you think I’m doing? I’m inspecting our new living environment”

“I got that” Came Josh’s dry reply, “What I meant was what is with the random pointing?”

“Oh” She shrugged, “I’m just pointing out the cameras”

Josh gaped at her “You can tell where they are!” Ignoring him, Donna scanned her eyes quickly around the room one last time before joining him on the lounge.

“So who do you think they are interviewing now?”

“I dunno. Let’s just wait and see” Josh closed his eyes and slouched back into the lounge with a sigh. The room filled with a deafening silence. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable Josh opened his eyes slightly and was surprised to find Donna staring at him. Immediately she averted her eyes.

“Donna? Are you…?”

Donna interrupted him. “Did you mean what you said about trying to make everyone hate you so that we will be voted out?” The words spilled out of her mouth in a rush.

He shrugged at her. “Yeah, I mean. I’m only here because I was forced into it, and you’re only here because I forced you into it. Imagine how much work there’s going to be piling up while we’re gone from the office.”

“I assigned all of your work and everybody promised to help take some of the load while we’re gone. So it’s not a problem.” She glanced down at her hands, hesitantly before continuing “It’s just I think that there is going to be a surprise first night eviction, and I know that you don’t want to be here, but please can you be friendly? Even if it’s just for tonight? I don’t want to be evicted on the first night” She pouted at him, and he groaned internally knowing that there was no way he could deny her anything when she gave him “the pout”.

Sighing he agreed, and was shocked to find himself being wrapped in a warm hug. “Thank you! You have no idea what this means to me. We’re going to have so much fun!” She squealed releasing him and he laughed at her excitement.

“Oh and don’t tell anybody about the surprise eviction” Donna lowered her voice “Because in this game you have to fight to survive”

Josh held back a laugh at her earnestness. “Seriously Donna? I don’t think that you have to whisper. There’s nobody else here and with all these cameras and microphones which are hidden around here (although you seem to know where they all are) there aren’t going to be any secrets in this house.”

A buzzer sounds and this time Josh did laugh as Donna squealed in excitement bouncing in her seat. “New housemates!” She stood up to greet them as they entered. Josh also stood following her steps in a more dignified manner. It was odd, he thought as Donna hugged the two women who had just entered; it was almost as if they were entertaining guests in their own home. Pushing the thought away, he too, hugged the two women.
All sixteen guests had now entered the house and everybody was seated around the large table in the middle of the dining room. Josh had hugged so many strangers in the last hour that he was glad to be having the rest and chance to sit down. Everybody had automatically hugged on sight, and he doubted that any of them had exchanged names in that time.

But now as they were all seated, the introductions began. A young man in his early twenties, who was obviously in the ‘twin couple’ category, from the identical man sitting alongside him, got the ball rolling.

“Okay, so I know that you two are mother and daughter. Kate and Stephanie, right?” The young man whose name Josh could not remember asked looking at the two women who had entered after Josh and Donna.

“Guilty as charged” Kate grinned warmly and wrapped an arm around her daughter. “And you are…?” She trailed off.

“Greg” he replied reaching out his hand, “and this” here he bumped his twin in the side “is my brother Dave.” Dave waved at the group sheepish, then looked expectantly at the couple on his right.

“Let me guess. Brother and sister?”

“Close” A blonde smiled at him, “cousins. This is Ashley, our mothers are sisters. And I’m Brooke.” Donna elbowed Josh sharply to refrain his from the comment she had anticipated, when she heard that the young man’s name was Ashley.

The introductions continued around the table and soon it was clear who everybody was. Anyway Josh thought, everybody has their wrist bands which said their titles, which would hopefully jog his memory if he forgot anyone’s name.

Kate and her daughter Stephanie sat beside Sarah and Brady who had been dating for 3 years. The twins, who Josh still had difficulties telling apart were Greg and Dave, and next came Ashley (the boy with the girls name) and his cousin Brooke. Ken and Shirley, a couple in their forties who had been married for almost 20 years, Roxanne (or Roxy as she preferred to be called) with her boyfriend of one week, Ben and finally Philip and Jackson, a father and son, who had been estranged since Jackson’s birth had had only recently been united. Now it was Josh and Donna’s turn.

Everybody turned to look at the remaining couple. “So what are you guys?” Roxy asked them.

“He’s my boss”

“She’s my best friend”

Their replies were simultaneous, and the immediately turned to look at each other.

Donna smiled at him pleased with his answer, “Awwww, really?”

“Aw, jeez Donna” Josh rolled his eyes at her, “Don’t go all mushy, or I’ll take it back.” Then he spoke to the group explaining “We kind of cover two categories. We work together and we’re friends.”

Shirley nodded in understanding, “I met Ken through my job. So were you two friends before you started working together? “

“Nah,” Donna answered for them, “he just kind of grew on me.” She threw a quick smile in Josh’s direction “And with our hours…” She trailed off.

“So I’m guessing you don’t have your typical 9 – 5 job?”

“Oh no, we do.” Donna insisted “9 o’clock to 5 o’clock the next morning” Everyone laughed, and Donna purposelessly ignored looking at Josh knowing that he was sending her his famous wounded puppy dog expression.

Brooke yawned, quickly covering her mouth in embarrassment. “I guess that’s a sign we should head off to bed. We’re going to have an interesting few weeks ahead of us.” Ken spoke standing. Everybody slowly began drifting away from the table, heading for the community bedroom or bathroom to prepare for bed, and soon Josh and Donna were the only ones left.

They moved over to the lounge, spreading themselves out comfortably on its cushions. The conversation flowed easily between them, the idea of sleep not yet crossing their mind, their long hours at the White House keeping them awake.

Eventually though at Donna’s insistence, as Josh had yawned three times before he was able to complete a sentence, they arose from their positions and made their way towards the bedroom.

“Let’s go to bed”

“Donnatella Moss!” Josh mock gasped, widening his eyes dramatically, “We’re on National television”

Donna rolled her eyes and whacked him, causing a high pitched yelp to escape from his lips. “Keep walking Joshua”

Having each taken turns in the bathroom, dressing in their pajamas, and then brushing their teeth, while Donna supplied Josh with seemingly useless trivia about an American death-penalty ritual, for the "last meal" for Death Row inmates. With a mouth full of toothpaste Josh was defenseless and there was nothing he could do but listen as she informed him of the last meals of John Wayne Gacy, had fried chicken and strawberries; Ted Bundy passed on steak and eggs; James Smith, executed in Texas in 1990, requested a "lump of dirt" (request was denied); and Missouri inmate Lloyd Schlup who asked for venison and hare (request was granted).

Teeth finally clean the two headed back to the bedroom, walking to the only empty bed in the room. Climbing into the bed quietly so as to not wake the other housemates, they quickly settled under the warm covers.
Toby’s office - the West Wing

“Did you notice the lack of confusion of which side of the bed they would be sleeping on” Sam commented “It’s almost as if…” He trailed off, his mouth falling open from shock.

“They haven’t? Have they?”

Toby shrugged “It’s Josh and Donna you’re talking about. Who has any idea of anything when it comes to those two?”
Bedroom - Big Brother House

“Wow this is so much more comfortable than my bed” Josh commented

“Mmmm,” Donna agreed nodding “Yours is lumpy”

Abruptly, Donna sat straight up in bed, startling Josh. “Hey Josh, do you think…?” She began to ask.

Suddenly she looked directly at the camera she knew was positioned on the wall behind her.
Toby’s office - the West Wing

“She’s looking at me!” Sam squealed fearfully.

“Sam! Shush!” CJ glared at him.
Bedroom - Big Brother House

Josh sat up slowly beside her. “Donna what are you doing?”

“Well, I just remembered that people are watching us. And I just said that I knew that your bed was uncomfortable…” She trailed off uneasily. “We don’t want them to think….”

“Think what?”

Donna shot him a look.

“Ohhhhh” Josh nodded in understanding. “Yes. That would be very, very bad.”

Donna looked towards the camera again. “CJ, this isn’t as bad as it sounds. I know that you probably want to kill Josh right now..”

Toby’s office - the West Wing

“Mi amore, you have NO idea.” CJ glared at him, but her eyes held the humour she was feeling towards their predicament.
Bedroom - Big Brother House

“But it was after Rosslyn and the nightmares…” Donna felt the tears welling up behind her eyes.

“Hey, come here.” Josh whispered to her soothingly, holding out his arms to her. Donna scooted herself closer to him, until she was leans into his arms. He pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair tenderly. “Come on, shhh… let’s get some sleep.” He murmured into her ear “we’re safe here and I’m right here if you need anything.”

Donna’s sniffles lessened as she calmed down and Josh pulled her back down onto the soft mattress, arms still wrapped around her. Donna’s head rested in the crook of his arm, her blonde hair fanning itself out over his chest, as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

“Goodnight Donnatella”

“Night Josh”

Day Two

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